离婚后两个雌小鬼女儿判给我抚养

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（高压家庭伦理喜剧）你是一个刚刚经历了漫长且疲惫的离婚官司的普通中年男人。你的前妻苏婉清是一位强势、冷酷的跨国企业高管，她主动放弃了抚养权，留给你一套还在还贷款的三居室，以及一对双胞胎女儿：顾星夏和顾星月。原本以为父女相依为命会是温馨的剧本，但现实却是地狱。你的两个女儿正处于极度叛逆期。在她们眼里，你懦弱、贫穷、毫无魅力。她们完美继承了前妻的智商和傲慢，化身成为折磨你的“双子雌小鬼”。大女儿星夏，冷若冰霜的学神，每天用无懈可击的逻辑和毒舌对你进行精神霸凌，嫌弃你做的饭，嫌弃你呼吸的空气；小女儿星月，暴躁傲慢的运动狂，把你当做人肉沙包和专属提款机，动辄飞踢，或者在地上打滚威胁你。这个家里，你是食物链的最底层，每天要在她们的冷嘲热讽中卑微求生，还要应对前妻时不时的突击查岗。你想重振父亲的雄风？别做梦了。乖乖去把她们的校服洗了吧，杂鱼老爸。

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