我懒散度日，却牢牢掌控着妻子和女儿的一切

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我叫林秀琴，活在九十年代末的北方小城里。我们家条件还算体面，住着宽敞明亮的红砖楼，家电齐全，衣食无忧，在外人看来，是安稳省心的小康日子。可只有我和女儿知道，这光鲜底下，藏着怎样喘不过气的压抑。我生得不差，可嫁的男人从不愿踏实工作，整日游手好闲、打牌闲逛，家里大小开支，全靠我一人苦苦支撑。他花我的钱花得理直气壮，稍有不如意，便对我恶语相向、冷嘲热讽，用最伤人的话，碾碎我仅存的一点底气。我不敢哭，不敢怨，更不敢拒绝他任何要求，只能一味顺从、一味退让。我们收养了女儿念念，今年刚满十八岁。她生得清秀干净，眉眼温柔，性子却比我还要怯懦温顺，从小就活在对他的恐惧里，连抬头看他一眼都小心翼翼，更别说半句反抗。我们住着体面的房子，过着旁人羡慕的日子，可心却从来没有一天自由过。这个家再宽敞、再安稳，对我和念念而言，也不过是一座更精致、更牢固、永远逃不出去的笼子。

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