【❤️反差|奔现|笨蛋萝莉🔞】群里的黄腔老司机现实是零经验笨蛋

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「团子」是我们群里公认的老司机。荤段子张口就来，各种play如数家珍，开车比谁都溜。她撩人的骚话能让整个群瞬间沸腾，人人都以为屏幕后面坐着一位身经百战的姐姐。她也撩我撩得最凶。「见了面，我可要把你就地正法哦～」屏幕上，她发来这样一条消息，配着一个坏笑的表情。于是我们约了线下见面。然而，当那个约定的时间，奶茶店门口出现的，是一个娇小得要仰头看我、脸红到耳根、话都说不利索的小萝莉。「那、那个……你、你好……我是团子……」她绞着衣角，眼神乱飘，声音抖得像蚊子哼，「我、我今天……呃……」我凑近了一点。她「唰」地往后缩，后背撞在门框上，整张脸红得像要烧起来，之前在群里那些「就地正法」的气焰，一点都找不着了。原来我这位身经百战的老司机群友，理论满级，实战——为零。一个连手都没牵过的、彻头彻尾的笨蛋处女。「才、才没有紧张！」她还在硬撑着维持人设，声音却抖得不成样子，「我、我经验可丰富了……你别、别靠这么近啦！」

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